Welcome to Our Family: 2009

I've been keeping a journal in a photo album and decided to make it public. I'm not really that articulate when people ask me questions so here are some of my thoughts, also hopefully our journey may encourage others too.

It's hard for me (your mom) to pin point the exact moment that I knew it was part of my life story to adopt. I know it goes as far back as at least High School. Not really much of an environmentalist, but I always imagined I would have 2 biological kids to replace Scott and I and any others would be adopted. But that's not really the reason I wanted to adopt. It could go back to very early conversations with my mom. I used to debate my mom about how you get to heaven. "What about kids in other countries where another religion is the only one taught? How can they be saved through Jesus if they don't even know Him?"

"If I grew up Muslim and a Christian tried to convert me, would I change? Would you change your faith right now if someone tried to convert you?" Now raising 2 young children reinforces my earlier belief that that our faith and our practices are taught. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but if you've been taught your whole life one way by people you love and trust, it's hard to imagine changing that - but that's a whole other issue. My Mom didn't encourage this line of thinking and didn't really know how to answer my questions. So my point is, in a way back then I figured the only way to convert someone is to catch them when they are young.

Sidenote: Ethiopia is roughly 40% Orthodox, the other part Muslim and indiginous beliefs. Ethiopia was the stomping ground for many parts of the Bible and they believe that they have the Ark of the Covenant. One of the largest festivals is Timkat, celebrating the baptism of Jesus in the Jordan River.

When your Dad and I were dating I know the issue of children and adoption came up. He knew my dreams and hopes, but didn't have this dream or even see this as an option. Scott wanted 2 kids - done. Through our marriage and having Tyler and Megan the issue of adoption would come up every now and then. At Scott's high school reunion, while pregnant with Tyler, I shared with one of his classmate's wives my hope of adopting from Africa.

I feel a lot of influences have been placed in my life for adoption. In the church I grew up in many families had adopted children. Before we had our own children, friends had adopted a little girl. Since then we've had 2 friends adopt as well. Through looking into African adoption, we've connected with 2 other families in Holland who have adopted from Ethiopia and keep finding out about more. There seems to be a good network of families with Ethiopian children.

Within the past few years I would definately say that adoption has been my calling. With adoption on my mind, songs, things people say, prayer triggers this desire. Fall of 2007 we really started talking more about adoption and basically I needed Scott to say "no" this is not an option at all or "ok" we can start looking into it. I didn't want to start doing research, talking to people, contacting agencies if it wasn't an option.

In November there was a show on Oprah about a women, Lysa TerKeurst, who went to a concert at her church featuring a male choir from a Liberian orphanage. While the group was there, the orphanage was destroyed in a civil war. As the boys were singing she felt God calling her to help these boys in need. Their family ended up adopting 2 of the boys from the choir. Hearing the father talk about his wife's crazy idea reminded me of what Scott could sound like some years down the road. I still can't watch the story without getting teary eyed. Scott and I watched the story again together. Maybe this would be his spark. I think he sees it as a great thing that people can do, but it's still not for him.

Ironically, less than a week later I hear about a choir from Uganda who is coming to visit a Holland Church and so we go to see them. The Watato choir was amazing and my heart goes out for the millions of orphans. We look at their lives, no mom, dad, family, home, the threat of illness, AIDS and think despair, yet they are so filled with hope. Sometimes, I think we are the ones who have our priorities screwed up.

Tyler and Megan loved listening to the choir and connected with some of the kids who were singing. They are so excited and are already expecting a new brother or sister. They love listening to the Watato music. Sometimes they argue about whether to have a brother or sister. They also tell random people they are getting a sibling from Africa, which we then have to explain. We are so glad they are part of the process and are so excited to have you join our family.

Another sign around Christmas, driving down the snowy road, daydreaming, a Saint Bishop came on the radio with a recorded Holiday blessing. His words went something like, "There are people in the world living in pain and struggling, but we can rejoice and have hope because we have life through Jesus."

At the end of the message, I changed the radio station only to hear the same ending of the message from the Saint. "How can these children have hope? There are millions orphaned, lost, lonely, how can they have hope?" I thought. "What if I was one of those orphans? Would I have hope?" When I escaped my thoughts and started listening to the radio again I realized it was an advertisement for international adoption.

Almost every sermon I hear, the thought of adoption pops in my head. One of the adoption sites had a story about a starfish. It seemed like one of those corny stories that you get forwarded through email - that I never read. But I started reading. There was a boy on the beach throwing back starfish that had washed up to shore. The beach was covered. A man walking by asked the boy, "What's the use, there are so many?"

The boy replied, "Even if I can save just one." I know our family has room and love for at least just one. We aren't going to save the world, but I know that this one - our child - will be more than worth it. Back to the Oprah story, when the one woman decided to adopt, her friends and others in the community followed. In all, 28 children were adopted from this Liberian orphanage. One of the families said, "We thought that we were a blessing to our new child, but really it is he who has blessed our family."

So Scott gave me the go ahead to start researching. During summer break 2008, I started researching, looking at agencies, and searching blogs. I actually talked to a woman in Orlando for over an hour about agencies she would and wouldn't recommend. It's amazing to see and read all these stories about families who have adopted from Africa. I continue to follow some of there blogs. Scott connected with a guy at work who recently adopted twins from Ethiopia, which was also such a blessing.

We ran into their family at a company picnic and they told us they just received news that their twins younger sister is up for adoption. They were struggling with the decision of whether their family could handle 6 kids. In the car ride home I said to Scott, "What do you think?" I didn't even have to say what it was about.

He said, "Let's do it." It turned out that the family is adopting the sister, but this was the turning point to finalize the fact that adoption will be part of our family's story. Timing-wise we decided to start the process at the new year (knowing it takes 1-1 1/2 yrs) hoping you would join us before summer break 2010 so we have lots of time together to adjust.